Save A Horse
by tiramisuspice
Summary: Ride a cowboy. So that's what Maya does.
1. Chapter 1

**Written for Mireille. You owe me money, yet you dare blackmail me into writing some terrible, half-assed smut? We shall see who has the last laugh, my dear. We. Shall. See.**

 **A/N: Just one of my headcanons for future Lucaya (sex in school in the janitor's closet. Ages are roughly 17-18, just fyi). I HAVE NO REGRETS.  
**

 **Rated M for Mmmmm... Pervy Smutty Goodness  
**

 **Enjoy! And remember folks: it's A OK to be a Grade A perv! I know I'm one!  
**

 **Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own GMW, because _hotdamn,_ if I did, all you would be seeing is Lucas and Maya _screwing_ on desks and against walls and shit when they get older. (and banging in locker rooms and fucking in cars)  
**

* * *

Lucas sits in 3rd period, bored out of his mind during the lame video their class is being subjected— _forced_ —to watch. Now that his distraction from the movie isn't sitting in front of him, he has no option but to watch the film.

Maya had left class a little bit earlier, citing not feeling well and having to go to the nurse's office. Naturally, Lucas had been surprised by her sudden request to their teacher. She had seemed fine a few moments ago and before class, if not a little fidgety.

So when Lucas receives a text from Maya, he automatically gets worried. Can you blame him? Maya isn't the type to leave class for anything. She'll sleep through a class, eat through a class, text and play games all through a class, but leave a class? That isn't in her usual realm of actions.

 ** _janitor's closet in the history hall. now._**

He excuses himself politely from class, making some quick excuse about needing to use the restroom and heads to the hall closet she mentions, all the while wondering why she is in the janitor's closet when she requested a pass to the nurse's. He checks for anyone in the hall and opens the door, expecting to see Maya looking sick or tired. Instead, he opens the door to a red-faced, groaning Maya leaning against the wall, legs spread far apart, hand down the front of her skirt, stroking herself and trying to get herself off.

He's pretty sure his jaw cannot drop any lower. He's also pretty sure that he must be conked out on his desk and having one of his wet dreams because there is no way he just walked in on Maya _masturbating_.

"Maya, what the hell are you doing?"

Without prelude, she turns to him in a flourish, grabs his collar, yanks him down, and gives him an absolutely _filthy_ kiss. It's wet and dirty and absolutely loaded with innuendo with the way she slides her tongue between his lips and _demands_ dominance. Caught off guard, Lucas can do nothing but follow her lead, stumbling forward as she tugs him further into the room. When she finally pulls away with a crude pop, they're both breathing heavily and the only thing he can register is the fact that all the blood in his head is traveling straight south. And she knows it too, because those ruby red lips of hers tilt up into that devious smirk he'd always imagined she would wear right before she sucks him off.

And he knows he's in trouble.

"Maya?"

She pushes him backwards, nails pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the chair resting against the wall and he falls unceremoniously into it. The devilish curl of her lips makes him swallow nervously, especially when she slowly trails her hands down his chest, past his abdomen, and even further down until they're hovering over his belt.

"Maya." He starts, ready to stop this. He has no idea what the hell she's doing or what she's planning to do.

"Shhh…" she cuts him off, flashing him a racy look with those smoky baby blues. Heat pools in his crotch and he becomes very aware of the fact that his pants have become uncomfortably tight. She unhooks his belt buckle and unbuttons the clasp of his pant before rolling down the zipper, in the process letting her knuckles brush against the bulge in his boxers. Lucas releases a little growl, already feeling his control start to slip.

"I just need a little release…" she licks her lips vilely, her eyes zoning in on his erection.

"Maya what the hell is wrong with you? Are you drunk?"

He is absolutely shocked at her actions. He knows it's right up Maya's alley for a quick rendezvous in the janitor's closet of all places, but he'd expected after school. Not _during_ school and in the middle of a class no less.

"Look Sundance. I'm horny as hell, and I just want to be fucked." She says, hiking up her skirt and straddling his lap. "So shut the hell up and _fuck_ me."

There's something disparaging to be said about students who have no self-control and participate in illicit debauchery on school premises—Lucas is pretty sure there's some rule against it, anyhow—but all thoughts fly out the window when she rolls her hips sharply and grinds herself against him.

They both pause for a moment, Maya unable to help her sharp intake of breath and dropping her head onto his shoulder. Lucas grabs her hips with a long moan, leaning his head back against the wall and fighting to retain control. She can feel him pushing insistently against her, hard and thick and hot, and he can feel how warm, wet, and willing she is through the thinness of her panties. It takes him a lot longer to recover than he would like, and he is suddenly left with only the thought of when the last time he'd gotten laid was.

" _Fuck…"_ he chokes brokenly, waves of pleasure shooting through his body like electricity. "Maya, I don't have a condom."

"Pill."

It's her only response before she attacks his mouth again, tongue hot and unrelenting and wrestling with his for dominance. She kisses like he expects, brutally with _intent_. Lucas slides his hands over her ass and pulls her closer, pressing himself against the wet warmth above him. She gasps into his mouth and meets his heady gaze, mentally asking for confirmation. He nods stiffly, and Maya slides her hands between them, freeing him from the confines of his boxers. She has a predatory smirk on her lips and a hungry gleam in her eyes, and the heat between her legs nearly drives him _insane_.

She takes his length in one hand, pushes aside her panties in the other and guides him to her opening before sinking down on him and burying him as deep inside her as he can possibly go. They both let out strangled moans, the feeling of being filled and of absolute warmth overtaking them almost completely. She's incredibly tight and squeezing him like a vice and it's all Lucas can do to keep from coming right then and there. But he gets a grip and gets with Maya's rhythm, gripping her hips tightly and matching her motions with each of his small thrusts.

She's aggressive and wild, and she's fire and unrelenting passion. She rides him with everything she has, mewling in pleasure, hands clawing at his shirt on his chest. Lucas grits his teeth, hissing in pleasure when she shifts her hips and everything is tighter. She's intoxicating, and he can't get enough of the way her walls contract erratically around him.

He's vaguely aware of the 3rd period bell going off somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn't give two fucks. The only thing he can pay attention to is Maya's breathless pants and gasps against his ear, their ragged breathing, and the way their overheated bodies rock together with each thrust.

 _"Does that feel good?"_ he growls against her neck.

" _Yes…Oh God yes…"_ she moans in his ear, rocking her hips jerkily.

He can tell she's on the verge of losing it. Her eyes are closed tightly in concentration, she's biting her lower lip, her hair is cascading wildly around her face, and he can't help but think that she is so unbelievably fucking beautiful. He knows she's just on the brink, so he slides one hand in between them and pinches her clit with his fingers.

She unravels in front of him, coming _hard_ with a high pitched keening, her nails digging into his shoulders hard enough to draw blood as she rides out the waves of her orgasm. It drives him over the edge and with a low groan, he closes his eyes as he reaches his own release. She pulses around him and twitches, sucking him in further and milking him for all he's worth as he spills into her.

Her legs are trembling when she comes down from her high, and he just holds her as they try to catch their breath, bodies still overheated and chests heaving. Lucas' head falls back against the wall and he chuckles lightly, still a little shocked that that just happened.

"You good?" he gives Maya's hips a little squeeze when she falls against his chest, her head remaining in the crook of his neck.

He feels her nod, and she wraps her arms loosely around his neck. Her fingers play gently with the soft hairs on the nape his neck, just letting him sway her lightly side by side while she tries to slow her racing heart rate. He decides he rather likes this side of her, sex-satisfied and soft and cuddly.

Maya finally takes a deep, shuddering breath and pulls away, stepping off his lap and dislodging herself from him with a wet squishing that sends a small twitch to his cock. The sudden loss of contact makes her wince minutely, and she grimaces when she can feel the cum starting to drip down her leg. She rearranges her soiled panties and pulls her skirt back to its appropriate position while Lucas tucks himself back into his pants.

"Good job, Lucas." she breathes out, flashing him a pleased smile.

She looks very satiated and has a light, rosy blush painted on her cheeks. Lucas can't help but grin a little smugly in pride when he sees her legs shake a bit in effort to stay standing.

"C'mon." he stands and takes her hand, leading her out of the janitor's closet. "Let's get out of here."

He knows they both look rumpled, and their clothes are in disarray, and Maya is walking funny, and they probably _smell_ like they just had sex, but he's pretty sure fourth period is about to begin and they need to get to their class. He hopes no one will particularly notice or suspect anything.

And when Lucas and Maya step out into the hallway, they are met with the inquisitive and shocked (and disgusted and amused, he notes) faces of about fifty-two students and teachers, all staring at the two of them like they have just lost their damn minds. Apparently, they'd made too much noise and drew a crowd. Lucas sees Riley standing somewhere in the back of the pack, giving them both a wide smile and double thumbs up. And there's Mr. Matthews looking like he's about to castrate Lucas.

"Mr. Friar! Ms. Hart! I want the both of you in my office _immediately!"_ The principal bellows, his face burning red.

Maya snorts in amusement, and Lucas normally would want to crawl into a hole and die for getting caught fucking in a janitor's closet of all places. But at the moment, he couldn't care less because Maya doesn't let go of his hand as they walk to the office. And he'll probably get suspended for having sex in school, but it doesn't matter to him.

It was so worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**I needed more practice writing smut :D This is probably the filthiest thing I've ever written before lol! I swear I'll get better until it's absolutely disgusting!  
**

 **Translations will be provided at the bottom :)**

 **Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy this one too :)  
**

 **Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own GMW, because _hotdamn_ , if I did, all you would be seeing is Lucas and Maya _screwing_ on desks and against walls and shit when they get older. (and banging in locker rooms and fucking in cars)  
**

* * *

When Maya texts Lucas that she wants to come over to practice French, he doesn't make much of the statement. It's not atypical for Maya to come over in the evening to try to get some of their homework done. Of course, he usually ends up doing it all for her, but he tells her to stop by anyway. They're suspended for the week after all, so they'll have tons of work to make up when they get back to school. If they work together, they can knock out most of it.

He's leaning against the headboard on his bed trying to read his notes when she arrives by his window as usual (he honestly doesn't get what she has against doors). He tells her it's open and she crawls in, a mischievous little smirk on her face. He doesn't think much of the expression on her face, since this is _Maya_ he's talking about and she always is making mischief in one way or another.

So imagine his surprise when Maya stands in the middle of his floor and slowly shimmies out of her dress, letting it drop to the floor and pool at her ankles.

And she's wearing nothing but crimson high heels and black lace, clinging to her form leaving nothing to the imagination and looking like every horny teenage boy's ultimate wet dream.

Lucas swallows thickly in surprise from his spot on his bed, his eyes slowly going down her form. Her hair, tousled and falling haphazardly across her face and down her back, her plump breasts in the lacy little number, the curve of her hips encased in the tiny panties, the _garters_ on her sexy fucking legs, the red pumps making her legs look miles long.

His mouth goes dry.

"Maya, what the hell are you wearing."

" _Ça te plaît?_ " She asks in a sultry, low pitched voice, sauntering slowly over to his bed.

And he knows he's done for.

His pants grow uncomfortably tight, and he knows he's definitely sporting the most raging boner of his entire life. He watches in slight shock as Maya climbs on his bed, that dangerous, mischievous smirk on her face and her eyes focused solely on the erection between his legs. She crawls in between his legs and runs her hand lightly across the bulge in his pants. Lucas grits his teeth as pleasure runs through his body and meets Maya's gaze in shock.

"Maya…"

" _Détends toi. Tu as la trique, non?_ " she says as she slowly drags down his zipper and then tugs his pants and boxers down to his ankles. She settles in between his bent legs, her mouth hovering over his erection and her eyes shining seductively as she watches him. _"Laisses-moi t'aider. Tu m'as aidé une fois."_

And he doesn't know how to respond to that, because he's dreamed— _fantasized_ —about this so many times, and he can't believe it's actually happening.

She kisses the tip of his erect cock before languidly trailing her tongue up the shaft. Lucas lets out a strangled groan at the feel of her hot tongue running up and down his boner and he fights to keep himself from being completely derailed. She sucks some of the precum off the slit before running it down his dick, using her tongue to wet him. She smiles up at him with a wink, her lips darkened and slick with his fluids before she takes him fully in her mouth.

She sucks him off without a hitch, wrapping her hand firmly at the base of his cock and rotating her hands in time with her mouth. Lucas squeezes his eyes shut, his breathing going ragged, trying not to burst right then and there because the way she's swirling her tongue around his tip and stroking his balls is driving him insane. And God, Maya's head bobbing up and down between his legs, slurping up whatever mess he's leaving in her mouth is absolutely one of the sexiest things he's ever seen in his life. It feels _amazing_ , and his hips jerk up involuntarily into the tight, wet heat past her swollen lips, his breathing heavy from the building pressure in his dick.

He's imagined scenarios like this with Maya in the past and dreamed of things like this happening, but he never believed it _could_ actually happen to him.

And then Maya lightly scrapes her teeth against him as she hums from deep in her throat, and Lucas hisses at the combination of pleasure/pain and his head falls back against his wall as his hand slides into her tangled mess of hair. She's unbelievably skilled and it's _killing_ him.

He glances at her and she has one hand slipped in her panties as she deep throats him, her face flushed as she watches him with fiery blue eyes.

And he knows he's on the verge of bursting.

He can feel it, right there on the edge, his thigh muscles tightening as the pressure to release starts to get out of control.

If Maya doesn't stop, he knows he's going to shoot his load in her mouth.

He pulls her head away from him and she unlatches with a crude pop, her lips red and moistened from some of his cum.

"Maya. I'm really close…"

And the look in her eyes turns vulgar.

With her lips at the tip of his cock, she grins naughtily and says, " _V_ _iens dans ma bouche_ , _Mad Dawg_."

Lucas is pretty sure his mind snaps after that.

It's such an unbelievable turn on that as soon as she slides her hot little mouth around him once again, he comes with a choked growl, hand still fisted in her hair as he releases his cum in her mouth. He closes his eyes, groaning long and low as wave after wave of fire passes violently through his body. Maya sucks him harder, her cheeks hollow as she swallows everything, her tongue still lapping lazily at him. With a slight slurp, Maya releases him, wiping her mouth of the cum dripping down her chin.

"Maya you're amazing…" he says breathlessly, still trying to catch his breath.

She licks her lips of the residue and then raises an eyebrow when she sees he's still hard. With a smirk, she tugs her panties off, flinging them over her shoulder before climbing onto his lap and straddling him.

" _Et maintenant, l'acte principaux._ " She mutters into his ear, tugging on his lobe before backing away to watch his face as she slowly, oh so slowly, eases him into her. It's a tight fit, but when he's fully ensconced deep inside her, they both let out heavy moans.

It's _heavenly_.

And Lucas has to close his eyes for a moment to concentrate, because she's so unbelievably tight against his cock, and he's sure the minute he lets go, he'll come. God, he thought her mouth had been tight and wet, but it was nothing compared to the heat he feels from inside her.

He gets no word of warning as she starts to move, hands on his chest and rolling her hips forward as she desperately moves against him. All he feels is pressure from her cavern, feverish heat and a tight, _tight_ pressure that threatens to catapult him straight into ecstasy.

"Maya… _fuck_." he grunts and she mewls loudly when she twists her hips and he can feel every inch of himself grinding and stroking roughly against her walls.

He matches her motions with his sharp thrusts, pulling her hips down harder on his cock, his headboard banging against his wall from the force of them rocking against each other. He leans up, catching her lips in a sloppy, wet kiss. He can taste himself on her when their tongues lazily swirl against each other, and he loves it.

Maya breaks away to catch her breath, her cheeks flushed, and she pushes him against his headboard, one hand gripping it, the other on his chest and he's completely turned on by her aggressive dominance and it's unbelievably hot watching himself disappear in and out of her as she bounces around on his lap. He slips a hand under her bra and teases a sensitive nipple and Maya cries out at the sensation.

She's getting a little loud, and he's groaning and he knows if she keeps up this psychotic, crazy motion, he's not going to last much longer. This intense, tremendous pressure starts to build in his cock and he knows she feels a pressure building too because her motions start to become erratic, and she's letting out these high pitched moans, and he can see her starting to lose control.

" _Yes_! _"_

Maya screams, throwing her head back when he grips her hips tighter and plunges harder and deeper inside her.

He feels her pulse around him and grip him until he can barely squeeze himself through her walls and he knows she came from the gushing he can feel from inside her. She drapes her arms around his shoulders, breathing haggard and choked as he continues to thrust roughly up in her.

"Lucas… _Fuck_ …" Maya's eyes are closed as intense quivers wrack her body.

With a low, animalistic growl, Lucas rolls them over and yanks her legs around his waist and hips up, slamming into her, fucking her hard to reach his finish. Maya cries out when he nips the sensitive skin on her neck, trembling and digging her nails into his shoulders when she comes again. The unbelievable heat from deep inside her sucks him in and she clamps around him as her muscles contract sharply and it almost immediately shatters his hold. He comes, letting out a long groan into her neck, his cock twitching as shivers run through both their bodies.

"Lucas, you okay? You were groaning and it sounds like you're..."

It takes a while, but when he finally comes down from his high, he registers he's heard _another_ voice. Slowly, he turns his head in the direction of his door.

Where his mom just walked in.

She's staring at the two of them, one hand on the doorknob and blinking widely, staring at the spectacle in front of her.

Lucas wonders what it must look like, Maya underneath him in skimpy lingerie and hooker heels, his pants and boxers caught on his ankles, naked ass in the air.

Oh yeah.

And him very obviously inside her and them very obviously _fucking_.

It's awkward because he knows his mom just saw the both of them orgasm, and he wants to crawl in a hole and die, and Maya has the same look on her red, flustered face.

Of all the awkward experiences he's ever had, this one has immediately taken first place, no question about it. There's no way to salvage this situation.

"Hello Maya." His mom says congenially, her smile wide and unassuming. "Nice to see you again. You're looking well."

"Nice to see you too." Maya says in a small voice.

And he knows he can't just get up off of Maya because not only will his mom see _everything,_ but he's pretty sure she'll also see cum dripping from both of them, and he would probably just about die if that happened.

"Will you be staying for dinner tonight?"

"I kind of was planning to go home after… uh, you know…" Maya replies nervously, a slight wince on her face.

"Nonsense! Stay! I'd love to have you for dinner." She grinned, "I made my mother's famous apple pie for dessert."

"Well… If you don't mind…"

"I don't mind at all. You're always a pleasure."

"That's nice to know. Thank you."

"Oh no problem sweetie." His mom winks. "And what say you after dinner, we start looking at wedding dresses?"

"Excuse me?" Maya asks, wide eyed and nervous.

"Well, aren't you interested in marrying my son? I mean, I would assume since you're engaging in premarital intercourse as adolescents that you've decided you'll be each other's partner for life."

And Lucas and Maya look back at each other, identical horrified looks on their faces.

"Fuck…"

* * *

 **Translations:  
**

 _Ça te_ _plaît_? **Y** **ou like it?**

 _Détends toi. Tu as la trique, non?_ **Relax. You're horny, aren't you?**

 _Laisses-moi t'aider. Tu m'as aidé une fois._ **Let me take care of you. You helped me once.** _  
_

 _Viens dans ma bouche_ , _Mad Dawg_. **Come in my mouth, Mad Dawg.**

 _Et maintenant, l'acte principaux._ **And now, the main event.** _  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is marked as complete, but just know that it actually isn't. I add to it at random, experimenting with different ways of writing smut and different language. MORE DISGUSTING SHIT. I MUST WRITE MORE. Let me know if it's grosser :) I'm trying to write more disgustingly!  
**

 **(LOL also, this _is_ a story. It follows some sort of plot to an extent, even if it seems like it's just random sexy timez).**

 **Also hi Guest! Yes, I actually do have a Lucas taking care of Maya chapter pending for the future ;3**

 **Thank you for the reviews! Happy you enjoy it! :)  
**

 **Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own GMW, because _hotdamn_ , if I did, all you would be seeing is Lucas and Maya _screwing_ on desks and against walls and shit when they get older. (and banging in locker rooms and fucking in cars)  
**

* * *

Lucas takes a sip from his red solo cup, not reacting from the thick taste of vodka layered in his drink. It had somewhat stopped burning a while ago.

Beside Lucas, there are tons of gyrating teens, teens making out against the wall, teens on the verge of fucking each other. But he isn't paying attention to any of that.

His gaze is stuck on Maya mixing drinks in the kitchen, very obviously flirting with some douche from the senior class. His name is Jonah. It's also pretty well known throughout the school that Jonah wants to fuck Maya. She's been talking to him all night and Lucas isn't even going to pretend it doesn't bother him.

It wouldn't be that big a deal if this is the first time he'd seen them together, but it's not. She'd been hanging out with him pretty frequently recently, especially at school. In fact, he regularly had been seeing Maya with Jonah ever since they had gotten caught by his mother a week ago. They had decided that it would be best if they steered clear of Lucas' home for a while. Maya especially had felt like his mom would be watching for her, waiting to sneak up and catch her and Lucas. The whole experience had kind of shut down their sex drives for a little bit.

Lucas isn't sure if this is the reason why she's decided to spend time with this idiot, but the timing coincides pretty suspiciously. Still though. The sudden cold shoulder she'd been giving him for about a week is unjustified.

Maya had thrown an impromptu party at her apartment that night and left it open for anyone to come, and this dumbass had shown up. Farkle had been keeping Lucas distracted beforehand while they were talking but Riley had come out of nowhere and started dancing with Farkle and now his friends were making out on the couch, so Lucas' attention was right back to Maya. Or rather, the distinct lack of Maya.

When Jonah leans over and whispers something in Maya's ear and she giggles flirtatiously, Lucas has enough. He chucks his empty cup into a trash bin and storms over to the kitchen, halfcocked, pissed off and ready to stop whatever this shit is. And yes, while he is aware he misses the sex, this goes beyond that. As possessive and terrible as it sounds, Maya is his. He'd be damned if he let some other asshole screw her.

As he approaches, Maya glances at him and then a glare comes to her face. She cocks a brow, waiting for Lucas to speak.

"What." She asks flatly.

"Are you fucking Jonah?" Lucas asks straight up, feeling a little emboldened by his slight buzz. No point in beating around the bush.

She snorts and rolls her eyes. "Why are you so pissed? It's not like we're exclusive…"

Lucas narrows his eyes, glaring down at Maya as she sneers at him, a look of challenge in her eyes.

"You're fucking Friar?" Jonah asks from behind Maya.

"It's just to let off some steam." Maya responds nastily, dismissing Lucas by spinning on her heel and facing Jonah with a smile. "Nothing more."

Lucas doesn't want to admit it, but it stings. And it causes hot fire to burn within him. A feeling of anger he hasn't felt in a long time.

Two can play at this game.

"Letting off some steam, huh?" he growls, "Then I guess you won't mind if I find someone else to 'let off some steam' with then? Since clearly this isn't working."

Maya stiffens, her breath hitching momentarily. Lucas stares at her with a raised brow as she slowly turns around, a fierce glare on her features that could have grown men shitting their pants in fright.

"We need to talk. Broom closet. _Now_." She orders, daring him to refute.

She stomps away toward the hallway without another word.

Lucas briefly contemplates not listening and ignoring her, but Maya has a tendency to use force on other people when she's pissed, and he'd rather not have her pointy heels wedged in his toes thank you very much. He follows her to the broom closet and when Maya swings open the door, there's a pair of teens making out heavily. They break apart in surprise at Maya's withering glare.

"Get the fuck out." She barks.

They scramble out rapidly, and without missing a beat, Maya shoves Lucas inside and walks in after him, slamming the door shut behind her. The closet isn't exactly soundproofed, but at least the pounding bass and the noise from the music blasting from the living room is somewhat drowned out. Maya crosses her arm in front of her chest, obviously gearing up to chew Lucas out. He's not going to let her though.

"Are you fucking Jonah?" he asks again.

"We're just fooling around a little bit, thank you very much. But I'm considering letting it go all the way. What does it matter to you?"

"I don't want you sleeping with other guys if we're hooking up."

It's a possessive statement, and he knows he has no right to say that, but he doesn't care. He's irritated and rational thinking is the farthest from his mind right now. Especially with the idea that someone else had their hands on Maya. His fists clench at the thought.

Maya's eyes narrow, the blue-gray turning sharp and glinting dangerously.

"Oh really, hypocrite? You don't want me screwing someone else, but that didn't stop you from screwing Denise."

"What? That's what this you and Jonah thing is about?" Lucas scoffs, "You think I fucked someone else."

"I heard the rumours. Are you saying you didn't?"

Lucas hasn't had sex with anyone else. Sure he'd taken Denise out on a date, and they'd made out a little bit, but it hadn't gotten any farther than that. But he isn't going to make this any easier on Maya. It's about time she acknowledged that what they have isn't just a random fuck buddies, friends with benefits thing. It isn't exactly that to Lucas, and it definitely isn't just letting off steam. Maybe they aren't necessarily exclusive and maybe it isn't exactly _official_ and even though Lucas doesn't really know what he feels for Maya, one thing he knows for sure is that he sure as hell isn't interested in fucking anyone else.

It's Maya or nobody.

"You'd like to know, wouldn't you?" he says lowly, leaning into her and crowding her personal space.

Maya's eyes flare in irritation, and she grits her teeth, hot anger running off of her in waves.

"So you did have sex with her?"

Lucas remains silent, watching Maya impassively. He can tell she's getting frustrated and in his mind, that's perfect because she needs to feel exactly what he felt. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Did you fuck her, yes or no?" She snarls slowly, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to her, her eyes shining with anger and annoyance and something else that makes Lucas want to shut her up with his mouth. "Just tell me."

Lucas slowly backs her up against the wall, trapping her and smirking when Maya's expression wavers momentarily, and he can see the heat dancing in her darkened gaze.

"Make me." he hisses, right against her lips.

There's a small moment where neither of them are saying anything. Where Maya is gazing up at him heatedly, her chest brushing against his with each of her short, angry breaths. Where Lucas stares her down wanting nothing more than to spread her legs and engorge himself in her.

There's a moment where her eyes fall to his lips.

And then Maya is tugging him down harshly, and Lucas grabs her ass, pressing her flush against him as their lips crash against each other. Flames ignite between them, scorching and burning them as their mouths move together. It's wild, carnal, animalistic passion, their hands roaming everywhere, touching, gripping, grabbing. He's pissed off with her and annoyed, but hunger is surging inside him, a deep aching want— _need_ —for her that he knows she feels too if the uninhibited fire and passion from her harsh kiss is any indication.

Their tongues wrestle for dominance, twining with each other, tasting each other. She tastes like shots of rum mixed with coke. And he knows they're _fighting_ each other, trying to see who will crumble first and who will relent first. Usually, Lucas is all for Maya just taking control and dominating, but not this time.

He slides his hands beneath her shirt, gripping the soft and smooth skin of the curves of her waist, relishing in Maya's shiver as he pins her to the wall. He wedges a leg in between her thighs, brushing against her core and Maya gasps softly, trembling almost immediately from the friction. He nips at her lips, sucking her lower lip in between his teeth before breaking it and trailing a path of wet kisses down to her neck. Maya groans as he sucks on the sensitive skin, nibbling lightly. Her hands grip his shirt, frantically tearing at his buttons, the material ripping from her actions.

She jerks him forward until he's flush against her, hooking her leg on his waist as their mouths hungrily devour each other. Lucas lifts her up without hesitation so she can wrap her legs around him, hiking up her skirt in the process and grinding against her entrance. Maya exhales sharply as he dips his hands under her panties, grabbing her bottom as she rubs herself against his erection. Her hands drop to his pants, desperately fumbling with his belt and to open the button of his jeans. It's almost a blur; she shoves his pants down, frees him from the confines of his boxers, aligns him with her opening, tugs her underwear to the side.

And then he's thrusting into her roughly, sheathing himself deep inside her velvety heat without warning.

He's pretty sure his brain is short circuiting and he can't believe he's gone this long without feeling Maya's tight warmth. He can feel her stretching around him, accommodating him. She squeezes him like a vice, her head thrown back into the wall and soft gasps and pants escaping her lips as he moves in her, thrusting hard and fast, his face buried in the crook of her neck. She squeals in pleasure, her nails biting into his hips, driving him forward as she rolls her hips to match his thrusts.

It's invigorating and heady and wild and almost frantic, both of them lost in the sensation of their connection. He grows lost in the moment, the unbearable heat between their sweaty bodies rocking together, his balls slapping against her thighs, the wet noises and squelching from their motions, Maya's fluids dripping onto him. Her face is flustered, cheeks painted red, eyes shut tight and brows furrowed in concentration as she breathes heavily, lost in a cloud of frenzied lust.

" _Harder_ Lucas!"

"Shut the fuck up." He growls, swallowing her words with a filthy kiss.

He twists a hand in her hair, tugging it sharply, and Maya shrieks in pleasure as he hooks his forearm beneath her leg and raises it, shifting his hips as he slams into her with almost brutal force. She throws her head back, her body trembling in his arms. He licks her neck, long and languid and then sucks on the soft skin, clamping down on it with his teeth. Maya cries out, tilting her head back to give him more access as he runs his tongue over it, soothing the bite.

"Oh God, _yes_. _Yes!_ "

Maya drapes her arms around his shoulders, mewling incoherently in his ear, but he can barely register any of her words, his thoughts only on the mind numbing pleasure from her cavern; unbelievable sensations he's experiencing; how tight she is; how she's _sucking him in_ , clenching around him insanely. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold out, and he rams into her, fingers digging into her thigh, bruising her as he strains to reach his finish.

Their lips meet again; it's sloppy, it's vulgar, and Maya whimpers breathlessly, her breathing heavy and ragged. He knows they're both close. So close to something so explosive, so crazy it's driving him mad. She's panting against his lips and he's grunting and their motions are frantic and jerky, their steady rhythm faltering with each thrust that brings them closer to finally releasing that tightly coiled spring. It's Maya's choked gasp of his name as he drives into her that hurdles them over the edge.

 _Ecstasy_.

A rush of _fire_ as time slows.

The Earth stops spinning on its axis.

Maya lets out a silent scream, gripping the strands of his hair as her body quivers with the sheer force of her orgasm. Lucas fights to hold them up, knees buckling, groaning raggedly as she pulses around him, milking every last drop of his, lightning dancing up his spine at his near violent release.

"M-Maya…" he swallows hard, leaning into her, his forehead pressed against hers as his body shudders from the rippling pleasure. "That was amazing…"

She lets out a soft, breathless laugh, cupping his jaw as they slowly ride out the waves of that Earth shattering orgasm. She's still pulsating around him semi-erratically, and it stirs up his cock inside her. He wants nothing more than to fuck her again. All night long. In any and every position.

He meets her gaze as her eyes flutter open and suddenly he's reminded of why they'd ended up there in the first place.

"I didn't sleep with Denise."

She blinks at him in surprise for a few seconds, the hazy blue-gray dancing with something unknown to Lucas for a moment. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

"Lucas—"

And then the door swings open and Katy is standing there, hands on her hips with a playful smirk on her lips. It's then that Lucas realizes that the music had been cut off, and there are no sounds of merrymaking teens.

"I thought I recognized your voice, Maya."

Maya's gaze snaps to the door in surprise. "Mom?! I thought you were spending the night at his place."

"I forgot my makeup bag and came back to get it. Didn't take you long to throw a party, did it? Hello, Lucas."

He doesn't trust himself to respond so he smiles politely instead, knowing he probably looks just as mortified as Maya.

"Party's over, baby girl." Katy says, a brow raised, "I just find it hard to believe that while a crazy party was going on in our home, you were in a closet. With Lucas. What a surprise."

"Mom… I can explain."

"I've got eyes, Maya. I can definitely see what's going on with you two. Especially since his pants are down, and I have a pretty clear view of his cute ass."

Neither of them say a word, Lucas feeling a small blush creep on his face. He has no doubt they're about to get in trouble, but in the next moment, Katy grins widely, clapping her hands excitedly.

"I'm so proud of you, baby girl! To think you bagged such a stud for your sexual needs! How come you didn't tell me you're having sex with Lucas?! I mean, I had my suspicions when you went over to his place wearing your pumps, but you're supposed to tell a mother these things! When did this start? How long has this been going on?"

"Mom. I'm a little busy here!" Maya growls through grit teeth.

"Well _duh_. You think I can't see that you're in the middle of a good, hard fuck?"

Maya's face burns so red, and she looks so utterly embarrassed that Lucas almost laughs.

Until Katy addresses him.

"Well. Carry on."

He's not sure he heard her correctly, but she only wears an expectant look on her face.

"The door is open, Ms. Hart."

"I know." She looks excited, "I'd like to see your technique. I can give you a few tips on how to better pleasure Maya, you know? We Hart women have very specific tastes."

"Mom! You're being crazy!"

"You're my daughter. There's nothing wrong with being interested in your sex life. Especially since you didn't even tell me you had already lost your virginity."

"I don't want you to watch me having sex!"

Katy cocks a hip, placing her hand on it and pursing her lips.

"That's too bad, baby girl. Consider this your punishment for throwing a party without my permission."

"Mom, please. I'll do chores for the rest of my life. This is not cool."

Katy is unmoved, only raising a brow. "I'm waiting. I can stand here all evening if I have to."

"Wait…" Lucas asks tentatively, "Are you serious right now, Ms. Hart?"

"Dead serious." Katy says. "C'mon cowboy. Giddy up."

Lucas slowly meets Maya's horrified gaze. This is infinitely worse than his mother catching them in the act.

Will they ever be able to screw without getting caught?!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Been a while since I wrote any smut.** **Sorry if it's not as dirty as it can be; I'm rusty lol. This is probably closer to soft smut in all honestly. Next chapter will be more raunchy.  
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 **Hi Guest! I'm sorry, love! Can't write that request. I don't write Rucas smut because I don't ship them at all. And hi Girl Q! Lol it's cause we're secret pervs ;3 Hi PrettyKittyKate! I don't have plans to write that chapter tbh. I'm sorry!  
**

 **Thank you for your sweet words guys! Sorry it's taking forever to update this; I'm not very good at writing quick smut. I appreciate your patience though! You all are so wonderful! :)  
**

 **Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own GMW, because _hotdamn_ , if I did, all you would be seeing is Lucas and Maya _screwing_ on desks and against walls and shit when they get older. (and banging in locker rooms and fucking in cars)**

* * *

Lucas doesn't know how much longer he can take being sexually frustrated.

He can't touch Maya. He can't even _look_ at her without his brain hurling itself into the gutter, but after the incident with Katy and the extremely awkward sex they had been forced to have in front of her, (thankfully not to completion; but they agreed to never talk about it again), things had gotten more difficult. Not to mention midterms have been preventing them from having any serious time to really release all the pent up tension steadily building with each day that passes.

They've tried—oh have they tried a thousand times to fuck—but the only thing they usually have time for is a quick blowjob or fingering session in bathrooms or his car. And that's not nearly the same thing as the exquisite, one-of-a-kind feeling of being engorged in Maya's supple heat, her breathy whimpers floating in his ear and her breasts…

Lucas shakes his head rapidly, taking a sip of his beer to try to clear his mind before he arouses himself in front of the entire congregation on the roof.

Between Mr. Matthews keeping an eye on them like a hawk during and after school, and Lucas' home completely out the question (his mom kept asking about his future wife Maya every day) finding time for even a quickie is pretty difficult. And since Shawn is in town, Maya doesn't recommend trying to sneak around her home anymore because they will almost certainly get caught the minute they even consider dropping any clothes. Any chances of her sneaking out to see Lucas is already hard enough because Katy told Shawn about them and now he watches Maya like a hawk too.

Lucas can tell Maya is getting really frustrated. When they had started this arrangement a few months ago, she'd said specifically that it was to satisfy their urges as hormonal teenagers. And even though it has now become more of a mutual 'I kind of like you but I'm not really sure what we are but I'm not going to sleep with anyone else' thing, the original purpose of a need for sexual satisfaction still applies.

And therein lies the big problem, because neither of their needs are being met and they require the other to meet their needs, but they can't see each other without risking Lucas' balls getting hacked off by a furious Shawn.

Lucas leans back against the rooftop couch under the canopy, paying little attention to the merrymaking and dancing around him and daydreaming about the glimpse of Maya's juicy ass he had caught earlier when she'd been ahead of him on the stairs. It's the only thing he's allowing himself to think about; anything more and he'll be looking at a boner the size of Texas.

He doesn't want to be at the little gathering of friends and family right now for a weekend barbecue. Don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and the family he's made in New York City but he could be having sex with Maya right now, and there is nothing— _nothing_ ; not even his Momma's chili—better than that.

"I hope you're not thinking about Maya," Shawn growls at him, grabbing a beer out of the cooler near Lucas. "She's off limits to you, got that?"

"Yes sir," he responds halfheartedly, not really listening to his threat.

Of course he's thinking about Maya. Who wouldn't be when she had shown up to the barbecue in a tiny blue dress that had left nothing to the imagination? He knows she's definitely not wearing any underwear (and briefly wonders if she did it on purpose to rile him up), and thinking about her lithe curves and soft, smooth skin under his fingertips has him quickly imagining the most disgusting things he can possibly think about. It's enough to make him want to cry. Here she is being unintentionally sexy and they can't even act on their mutual desires.

It's a shame all the adults are doing everything in their power to make sure Maya is always watched or occupied at all times. There'll be no fooling around today, much to his dismay.

Lucas falls into a lethargic daze while Cory and Shawn start lighting up the grill that he almost doesn't notice when his phone alerts him to a text he received.

 ** _need help bringing up some drinks from the apartment, rr. come downstairs. now._**

He hadn't even realized Maya had been missing from the roof in the first place, but he gets up and ambles downstairs back to the Matthews' apartment to help her.

It's dark in the apartment when he closes the door, and he reaches blindly for light switch, wondering why the lights are off if Maya is trying to grab drinks. That's a surefire way to get injuries from stubbing toes or tripping into furniture.

Someone makes a noise in front of him and his eyes adjust to the darkness to a figure approaching him. A very feminine figure with never ending curves. The minute the peach scented lotion drifts into his nose, any doubts of their identity drifts away.

"Maya?" he asks.

She pounces like a jungle cat, fisting his shirt collar and crashing her lips to his. Lucas falls back against the door in surprise, his hands falling to her waist as she desperately presses herself against him, leaving no space between them. He reciprocates, just as desperate, just as needy, and definitely aroused beyond belief before she even traces his lower lip with her tongue and demands entrance. Her lips taste like one of those fruity tequila drinks she snuck away, and the only thing he can register is the way she's grinding against him, his pants growing tighter with each second that passes. It's almost too much at once, and Lucas knows he's already on the way to having a painful erection if he doesn't find some relief.

"I missed you," she whispers. She's not completely visible, but even in the dark he can see the heat in her gaze. "I hate that we can't meet up all the time."

"Me too."

She yanks him forward and claims his mouth again in a hungry kiss that leaves his mind blank. He leans down and molds his mouth to hers, grasping her ass as she tugs him backwards. He had forgotten how soft her lips are, how warm her tiny body is, how amazing she feels pressed up against him. He's not usually one for sappiness, but Maya makes his knees weak sometimes.

They stumble backwards, nearly bumping into the couch, Maya tugging him in time with her steps to keep their lips connected. She slips her tongue in his mouth and his heartbeat stutters when she slides a hand down between them and palms his erection over his jeans. Lucas breaks the kiss, dropping his head against her shoulder and panting for air as his pants grow impossibly tight. Lightning cascades up his back, and he groans, grasping Maya's hips and trying not to let it all go before he's had a chance to ensconce himself inside her.

"Lucas…" she moans as he peppers kisses along her jaw, biting down on the shell of her ear.

"Here?" he asks breathlessly, fumbling to unlatch his belt and unbutton his jeans.

"Table."

She's impatient. He doesn't blame her when he's feeling the same kind of urgency and desperate _need_ to be inside her.

Lucas slides his hands down her curvy hips, cupping her ass before he lifts her up and sets her right where he wants her. The torturous heat between her legs right against his erection. The friction feels like heaven already, and he nearly loses it when Maya wraps her legs around his waist, rubbing herself against his throbbing arousal. Maya moans again as he sucks on the skin of her neck, tilting her head to give him more access as he moves them over to the table in the kitchen. She wraps one arm around his shoulders, nails gripping his upper back and sinks her other hand into his hair, clinging to him as he drops wet kisses along the column of her neck.

"We've got maybe fifteen minutes." Her voice is low and gravelly as it gets when she's aroused. He licks one of the red marks soothingly, relishing in her soft sigh. "Ten before they realize we're both gone. One for us to arrange ourselves properly, four for you to get as far away from me as humanely possible. Can you do that?"

"Yeah…"

He lays her down on the dinner table, looming over her as he undoes his pants, letting them and his boxers fall to the floor. Maya wraps her arms around him, tugging him down fully on top of her as he hikes her dress up, bunching it on her hips and settling between her legs. Their lips meet again in a sloppy, heated kiss. She gasps into his mouth when he presses against her firmly, the tip of his swollen cock rubbing up against her slit. Never has he been more grateful for Maya's frequent inability to wear undergarments than now. Her warmth is calling out to him, crying out to just break past the barrier and enter her. Lucas grinds slowly against her core, making out languidly with her as he feels her grow deliciously wet with want.

"Are you ready?" he asks softly, gripping her hips and lifting them up slightly from the table.

"I'm always ready for you, Huckleberry…" she murmurs.

Maya wraps her legs around his waist and the head of his dick slides a millimètre into her entrance. He positions himself where he needs to go and eases through the tightness as he imbeds himself inside her, stealing Maya's sharp gasp of pleasure from her mouth with his lips.

She makes an unintelligible noise of sheer bliss as he thrusts hard into her. Lucas wonders if his mind has shut down. It feels too amazing for words after not having had the chance to fuck each other for such a long time. Four days have been an eternity for him, especially four days without Maya's unbelievable heat wrapped around him. She's clenching around him, splaying her hands on his back when he shifts to sheathe himself further into her depths. His fingers dig into her hips, a groan leaving his lips as he buries himself to the hilt.

She's very sensitive to every one of his motions, little pants and soft gasps escaping her lips as he plunges deep within her in steady thrusts. It's like he's been deprived of something he needs to live off of. He's aware his breathing has gone haggard and rough, and Maya threads one hand into his hair, their gazes locking as he continues to possess the sweet, marvellous heat between her legs.

"Maya…" he moans at nearly the same time she whimpers, her cheeks burning with a hot blush.

He lifts himself up a bit, one arm beside her head, the other running slowly along the outside of her smooth leg. He's mesmerized by the way she looks with every rough, slow thrust. As her flushed face contorts in absolute bliss, her lower lip caught between her teeth to hold back her moans. Her shaky mewls and her hair splayed all over the table, eyes half lidded and mouth parted as she gasps for breath. He memorizes every little squeal and quiver of pleasure. Every low moan and choked sob of need. Every shallow inhale and broken exhale. They never really have time for anything other than fucking, but he can't help but wish that one day he'll get the chance to properly undress her, no rush, and take his time pleasuring every inch of her, watching her fall apart, swallowing every one of her moans, making her scream.

A swell of pride fills him, knowing he's the only one who can make her sound and feel like this. Her gaze flutters up to his, the intensity of their connection engulfing him to the point where he's not sure he can breathe. Lucas growls low in his throat from the sweet, aching pressure in his cock as she clenches and shudders around him. His slows his rhythm, watching as she approaches her climax, and Maya sucks in a startled breath as he delves deeper into her moist centre. She slides her arms around the taut muscles of his shoulders, bucking her hips up, crying out when he rams into her hard.

" _Lucas_." His name ends as a high pitched whine punctuated by her soft gasp when he stops moving.

"What do you want me to do?" he rasps out, amused by her squirming. He rather likes being dominant, as few times as it has happened.

"We have to go faster." She arches her hips closer to his, and Lucas thinks stars are dancing in his vision from the sudden burst of pleasure that ignites his arousal. "We don't have time for this."

He knows she's right, no matter how long he wants to take his time savouring Maya's body.

He hooks her legs onto the crook of his elbows, spreading her legs wider and shifting his hips as he pulls out and slams back into her. Maya cries out, throwing her head back, her back arching off the table in sheer bliss. He rocks his hips, driving in and out of her roughly, nearly drowning in pleasure from the tight feel of her silky heat. How on earth could he have gone this long without Maya? She rakes her nails down his back, biting her lower lip to hide the noises threatening to spill from her lips.

"Don't hold back…" Lucas chokes out through grit teeth, their hypnotic rhythm increasing as they both grow more and more desperate to reach their climax.

He loves this race against the clock, the urgency, the frantic need, the sweat clinging to her body, to his, hair plastered to their skin, the musky scent of sex filling the air, the slap of skin against skin, the heat, simmering heat burning their skin as they leave bruises on each other. He tugs on her ear lobe with his teeth, pounding into her fiercely as their pace increases. Her eyes squeeze shut as she lets out the low moan she'd been holding back. He knows if they keep going this fast, they'll both finish soon, but he wants to make this last as long as possible because who knows how long it'll be before he gets this chance to feel Maya's slick heat surrounding him, her grip tight around him, sucking him into her with every one of her uneven breaths.

It becomes hectic, more insistent as they rock against each other. The table rattles from the force of his thrusts, and Maya claws at his back in ecstasy, her nails biting into his skin through his shirt as her body tenses. Her walls are fluctuating and tightening erratically around him, and he knows he won't be able to hold out for long if her body keeps pulsating around him with each of his strokes. She has him in a vice grip and the pressure builds immensely each time he slams into her. Maya's breathing is growing increasingly more ragged; he knows she's nearly at the peak of pleasure too.

It's the sounds she's making that are driving him wild—her choked cries of pleasure, the strangled moans, the breathless whimpers—spurring him on and making it hard to think about anything other than fucking Maya as hard as he can. Her walls are contracting, convulsing, and Lucas can feel that familiar heat pooling in his groin, desperate for him to release the pressure.

"Oh fuck… right there… yes _… yes_!" Maya screams as her orgasm approaches. " _Lucas_!"

He reaches his hand between them, rubbing his thumb hard against her clit, and Maya unravels, her cry bursting through the apartment and echoing off the walls. She gasps for air, fighting to catch her breath as she shudders uncontrollably from her orgasm. Maya whimpers, her legs quivering violently as she grips his shoulders. His hips rut jerkily into her, striving to reach his own completion while she clenches impossibly tight around him. He can feel the hot, burst of fluid Maya is releasing and it's enough to nearly drive him over the edge. He's almost there, his rhythm breaking as he thrusts harshly one more time…just one more… he's right there… just one more…

The door bursts opens and the lights suddenly flick on as Cory storms into the room with wild eyes. Lucas blinks, trying to adjust to the sudden cascade of light. When he realizes who is standing at the door, he is so sure all the breath has lost his body. Below him, Maya goes rigid, a similar look of surprise donning her expression.

"M-Mr. Matthews?!"

"What the hell are you doing to Maya?!" he bellows, a crazed look on his face. "On my dinner table?! Really?!"

"I can explain…"

But he really can't. And Cory doesn't look like he wants to hear a word anyway.

"How dare you put your disgusting, filthy little dingdong in Maya! Wait until Shawn hears about this!"

"Hears about what?" Shawn asks, running around the corner into the apartment.

Everyone seems to go perfectly still as the air drops about fifty degrees when Shawn sees them on the table, Maya's legs spread and Lucas still ensconced in her, mid thrust.

Sensing the sudden heightened danger, Maya pushes on his shoulder to get up, and Lucas shifts, though his motions accidentally cause him to slide further into Maya. Her walls clamp down around him immediately, and Lucas knows he can't take it anymore. He spills into her with a choked gasp, his brain short-circuiting from the force of the ripples of sheer ecstasy seizing his entire body. Maya inhales sharply from the feel of him filling her, letting out a soft moan, her eyes fluttering closed in ecstasy. Every ounce of his body is on fire, and Lucas falls against her, struggling to keep his knees from buckling as she milks him for all he's worth. He groans, long and low, panting to catch his breath after the intensity of his orgasm.

It takes him a while to finally calm down his racing heart after his mind-blowing climax. There's a satisfied, drowsy smile on Maya's face as she lies back on the table, completely spent, and Lucas almost smiles too…

At least, until he remembers they have an audience.

And said audience members' faces are totally and completely _red_. Not flustered red from embarrassment, but blotchy red from _rage_.

"Did you just…" Shawn mutters, dangerously low, "…inside her?"

"Wait! We're protected. She's on the pill!" Lucas swallows thickly, straightening up and lifting himself from Maya when neither of their expressions relax, the dark looks still on both their face. He's screwed. "Can you please just give me like a two minute head start to clean myself up and pull my pants up at least?"

Shawn's gaze turns molten, and he grabs a broom from beside the door and tosses it to Cory before picking up a mop for himself. Maya sighs apologetically, running a hand through her hair in exasperation.

He's going to die. Today is his last day on Earth.

(But at least he got to spend fifteen minutes of it inside Maya).

Lucas pulls out of her without a second thought, ditches his pants beside the table and runs to escape through the bay window. To hell with his state of undress. Between running through the streets without any pants and letting Cory and Shawn break every bone in his body with a broom and mop, he'd rather get arrested for public indecency, thank you very much.


End file.
